Translated from Hebrew by S. NAthan

l'ilui nishmat Esther bat mordechai

Written for Shabat HaGadol, Tashnaz, 1997

      All religions, versus heresy: The commonly accepted view is that these are two mutually hostile camps. The heretics are perceived as the camp of the enlightened people who represent “progress” whereas religions are crowned by primitive people and superstition. How much of rationality does Judaism contain, and how much of the mystical?

     As we’ve mentioned in the context of previous parshiot, absurdity takes up significant space in Judaism. “All of pure white,” (regarding leprosy) the “red heifer,” purity and impurity, sacrifices – these bear no trace of rationality. Awe attaches to the month of Tishrei, when the footsteps of redemption are heard, and love attaches to the month of Nissan: “In Nissan we were redeemed, and in Nissan we will be redeemed again.” Tishrei is the month of awe and Nissan is the month of love.

     As mentioned in previous parshiot, one can arrive at one’s soul by way of the absurd, through utter self-sacrifice and devotion – much more effectively than by way of animalistic calculations of self-interest.

     Yet interpersonal relations – we’ve mentioned this as well – require rationality. They require cheshbon hanefesh, taking a clear and precise personal inventory of one’s own character strengths and weaknesses. They require avodat hamidot, the labor of refining one’s own character traits, of raising one’s own level of sensitivity to the physical (animal) and emotional needs of others. Another person’s physical need becomes my spiritual need, my worship of God.

     It is only in one’s direct relations with God that one can take the leap to the soul by way of the absurd. These distinctions are subtle and require endless fine-tuning in order to avoid missing the mark. It is no simple matter, and cannot be taken at face value.

     Tractate Kidushin 81b: The midrash describes Rabi Chiya bar Ashi, who attempted the leap to the soul by way of ignoring his wife and abstaining from physical contact with her. He thus distanced himself from her for three full years. One day as he prostrated himself in prayer, his wife peered through the keyhole and heard her husband weeping in prayer and beseeching God to save him from thoughts of sin. She went and disguised herself as a wanton woman, and enticed him. As payment, she required a pomegranate that grew high overhead, at the tip of a branch. So great was his desire that he leaped the necessary height and brought the pomegranate down to her.

     After the act, he returned home and found his wife preparing wood to light the fire in the hearth. He sat himself down among the logs and wished to decree upon himself death by fire, and he revealed the story of his fall with the wanton woman to his wife. His wife revealed to him that in fact she had been the wanton woman, so that in fact he had committed no sin. Yet he was not appeased, and claimed that he had sinned in thought and in intention, and wished to end his failed life.

     This story demonstrates the absurdity of soulless avodat hamidot. Allowing the spirit to interfere with physical/emotional needs without having a specific goal of benefiting another human being – leads to a dead end. It does not succeed – this attempt to control physical matter by avodat hamidot based on awe alone, without love, and conversely there can be no love of wife and companion if there is no love of God.

     Furthermore, one cannot worship God by ignoring the love of one’s fellow human beings, as befell that pious person. One can never experience awe of God if one does not love at the interpersonal level. The foundation that supports interpersonal relations, chesed, “lovingkindness” does not belong to rationality, nor does it belong to detached analysis. The morality achieved by detached analysis is an honor among thieves rather than true chesed. chesed belongs to absurdity. It belongs to “whoever prays for his friend will be answered first.” chesed of this type is based only on love, on “the love that depends on nothing at all,” the love that is irrational.

     According to what has been said, it is impossible to separate rationality from absurdity. Judaism demands rationality within absurdity, with no separating between the two. Only in extreme cases, of “the one who buys his eternal life in one moment,” is this leap possible, but not in normal cases.

     The reality is that every step taken by the camp of “progress and enlightenment,” whichs deviates from faith and moves in the direction of enlightenment and heresy is accompanied by a parallel deviation – away from enlightenment and toward the mystical and the absurd, whether through a return to religion or through dangerous cults or through alternative medicine, and this step is taken precisely by the disillusioned children of progress and enlightenment. Mysticism and rationality came down to this world joined, and separating the two brings social destruction and disaster.